We are merely surviving right now. He is dead and there is nothing we could do, except live.It iisn't much of a life, but it is something. Nothing really eventful has happened,  saved for our spotting of the tall one somewhere off in the distance. Always watching. Stalking us like some prey. The same can be said for that man, and the others. We do our best to ignore them.

We have other things to worry about.  We still have money left. He left us a lot of money but it will run out. We left that hotel and went to a cheaper one. I steal to save that money. Kobalos,  he steals sometimes.  We figured we can steal food sometimes and use most of the money for the hotel. It means that some days we don't eat much, maybe a few candy bars and some chips. Practically the life I've been living ever since I ran away.

N has been gone for an hour or so. Kobalos is worried.  N is probably busy doing something. He will be back soon. He should be back. Yes, nothing bad should happen today. I do not think that our luck would run out today. We've been so lucky as to not have anything bad happen to us.

Worrying would be pointless as of now. Kobalos probably has seperation anxiety because he has feelings for N. And I am trying not to over think things. I'll just stop.

Just Some Thought or Thoughts

The fact that there is a creature that supposedly takes the form of some clear liquid that is too similar to water is actually rather frightening. It seems hard to detect, so what is stopping someone from drinking it because they mistake it for water. And water is something pretty much all or most of us drink. That creature has the potential to spread.

Also, the doors that appear from where ever they come from is also a bit terrifying. Sometimes you can tell the difference between that door and the normal doors, but other times you can't. They can blend in so well and if you are not paying attention you end up in some city that might look like the one you were previously in, but once you blink your eyes, everything changes and you are all alone. Speaking of alone, I wonder if us, Kobalos, N. and I, being together, is the reason why the Cold Boy hasn't really been visiting us lately. I dread the day if any of us get separated from each other.

All in all, the months have been so-so in terms of creatures. I had that experience with the bad doors just a few days ago, and there is also Kobalos memory problem, and the Rake, and the Imitator, although the last two haven't been visiting us too recently, and when they do, they don't really interact with us. Well, at least the Imitator doesn't as we usually see him in the distance and that was only twice since October. The Rake just mumbles, which is unnerving, and we have to leave. Luckily that only happened to us once. It is that damn man who gives us the most problems.

And it was so nice over there too

Did I ever mention how annoying it is to have not only one but multiple creatures haunt you, and on top of all that, have some deranged bastard mess with you? No, well it is annoying. That is the problem when you are in a group of people, each haunted by a different monster, some by two. Just the other day, I almost open one of the bad doors. I was half asleep and I needed to go the restroom. I don't know how I knew, but when I touch the door knob, something felt off. Perhaps it was the fact that the door wasn't in the right spot. Dammit. I do not think that I really had a problem with them until now. I am just going to blame N. for all of this. I really hope I do not meet the Cold Boy, or his lackeys.  Long story short, I will be more careful when opening doors. I know, I know, I do not update this blog enough. I do not really have much of an excuse other then the fact that we both keep getting distracted. Our distractions aren't anything too bad, in fact sometimes they are even welcome, like watching some late night comedy movie. I can't remember what it was, but we laughed. It was some time after October. By then, I had already left Matt.

Well, it was nice spending some time with Matt. Did I mention that he is now taller than me, and handsomer. He is also still cute, especially when his voice cracks. Ah, puberty and growth spurts. It's too bad that we have to leave him with that gang. As far as I know, they are not affiliated with any monsters and such. I know that it has been so long since either of us posted, but we were finally having a break, at least until now. Always, something comes up to ruin our time of rest. Can we not rest, or do we have to keep doing this?

We just had to leave, I guess. N. isn't really talking about it. I fear it my have something to do with the mook. I hate him. I honestly feel as if I hate him, especially for ruining this wonderful time with my old friends, and for fucking with Kobalos. At least the goon was much nicer. It also may be because of the weather. It is freezing over here.

More pointless ranting

I am not sorry for ranting yesterday. I am on my period and we have no pads. Figures, since I am living with a bunch of dudes. I hate this hotel that we are staying at. I hate the smell of it and how suffocating it is. I wish I had some girls to talk to. I got some bastard trying to grope me, so I kicked him in the shins and ran for it. Got some annoying catcalls.

About Matt, he is in one of those thug typed gangs. The old street gang he was in came apart. I guess things change in a span of two years. One of them died. I didn't really know that person but still. She died of a drug overdose.

It is terrible.

On the bright side, there are no monsters following us, except for the man whole revealed the horrible things Kobalos did. I may have to be careful with him. He seems different from the goon.

Meeting an old friend

Fml. Kobalos is  insane. Unsupringly. I mean he has killed who knows how many people without knowing it. And aparentlyn he is gay for Nate or Jeff N. N, that I am going to ccall him, is keeping his distance ffrom Kobalos.  Damn this. I have known them for two years and I barely know anything about them. N rarely talks about his past because he cannot really remember it and Kobalos is Kobalos.  I heard him laughing like a maniac and mumbling in his sleep last night in his dream. It was as if he was having some sort of conversation.  It was rather unnerving if you ask me. I couldn't sleep because of him. Sad thing is, I don't think he can control it. Nevertheless,  he is a danger to us. It is such a shame really.  He is such a nice boy, yet his actions are not his will. I wonder what I should do about him. Enough about Kobalos.
I have just found out that Matt life hss seemingly gotten worse. He is in a gang. I really hope it isn't the Timberwolves. He couldn't take the abuse. He told me himself. Jesus kid. He still a child. He shouldn't have to grow up so soon. I met him while I was going to get a bite to eat. He recognized me and we talked about our lives. I left out the whole monsters thing. He talked about the gang he joined. Well,  he didn't really talk about it. He just mention it. When I tried to learn more, he would avoid answering my questions.  We then parted ways. This was pretty much what happened today. Nothing too out of the normal for me.

Truth

The man that Kobalos killed was the goon that used to follow me around. He wasn't really a bad man, just confused and messed up like the rest of us. He wanted out. He wanted help,  but he was killed.

He never said those things that Kobalos thought the man said.  He was asking for help.
I should have done something instead of just standing there,  but I was afraid of Kobalos because I didn't think that he was capable of killing another human being in the way that he did. I have seen dead people before but in have never seen a man no a boy kill another human before. Just why did it have to end up like this?

Kobalos is out walking now. He scares me. Nate is asleep on the couch. He knows what the man really said,  but he didn't have the heart to tell Kobalos right away. Kobalos knows what was actually said by the man now and he's taking it pretty hard.

I don't feel like writing that much so I am going to end it the way it is right now.